


Be Careful What You Wish For, Tony Stark

by Gibbs_yeah



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Civil War Team Captain America, Gen, Tony Stark is not a good bro, Tony Tore the Avengers Apart, canon-divergent, not Tony friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-16 01:34:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 3,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14153811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gibbs_yeah/pseuds/Gibbs_yeah
Summary: Tony Stark has had some incredibly bad ideas. What if he'd actually gotten his way?





	1. Sure, why not poke Bruce Banner with a cattle prod (The Avengers)

**Author's Note:**

> These snippets are canon divergent because Tony gets his way and has to deal with the consequences.  
> You'd have to pay me high five figures to wach the Iron Man films again, so I'm using transcripts for material from those films.

In "The Avengers," Tony wants to see Bruce turn into an "enormous green rage monster" so he pokes him with an electric prod.

 

Steve saw Stark stick the prod against Banner's side and heard the sound of the electrical discharge.

A moment later Steve watched Banner begin to change, wishing for his shield. 

Bruce growled and flushed green. As he grew into the Hulk, he started to hunch over in the low-ceilinged room.

Tony stepped back, faster and faster. He said, "Whoa, big guy!"

Steve shook his head as he shoved Stark behind him. He asked, "What were you thinking?"

Tony flailed his hands and said, "I didn't know that would happen!"

The Hulk roared.


	2. Well, okay, Tony, I'll incinerate your old arc reactor (Iron Man 1)

Tony is VERY lucky he didn't get his way this time!

 

Pepper gave Tony an uncertain look as she asked, "You're SURE you want me to destroy your old arc reactor?"

Tony waved his hand and answered, "Absolutely. Out with the old, in with the new."

With one last skeptical look Pepper carried the device out of the lab. She sent him a text later saying that she was keeping the cash she got for trading in the melted metals.

A few days later, Tony gasped out his dying breaths on the floor of his lab. His last thought was just how useful that old arc reactor would be right now.

(Pepper and Coulson managed to get the drop on Stane while he was outside his Iron Monger suit. Everybody's got to eat and sleep sometime!)


	3. Everyone Should Get Drunk and Put on a WMD (Iron Man 2)

Did you see the damage Drunk!Tony was causing at that party in Iron Man 2? He wanted to be blitzed and showing off without anybody spoiling his fun. What if Tony got his way and Rhodey wasn't conveniently available to stop Tony?

 

Nothing stopped him. People were screaming, shredded by glass and bullets. Furniture, floors, ceilings, and walls were ripped up by Tony's weaponry.

Some people had stopped screaming. They'd stopped moving, too, when Tony kicked at them with his armored boot.

In the morning, he'd look at everything he'd done with horror. He'd also be led away in handcuffs to be fingerprinted and charged.

Tony somehow thought getting drunk would help his situation. Tony was somehow both a genius and unbelievably stupid.

And as usual, somebody else---a lot of somebodies---were paying the price.


	4. If you don't want to take responsibility for your company, Tony, we'll give it to someone who will (Iron Man 1)

Government contracts come with a ton of regulations, requirements, and serious penalties for non-compliance. And the kind of paperwork that everyone in charge has to sign every few months attesting that they've done their due diligence. It's pretty clear from Iron Man 1 that Tony was in charge in name only, because he couldn't be bothered to actually take care of the business he'd been handed as a rich man's heir. What if Tony got his wish, and never had to deal with his company again, because no one else trusted him with it either?

 

Tony was lounging on the couch in his office when Pepper stepped nervously into the room. She said, "There is someone outside to see you."

Tony flapped his hand at her and said, "I'm busy...thinking. Tell them to come back on the twelfth of never."

"I don't think that's likely, Mr. Stark," said the officious-looking man who walked into the room. He stepped up to the couch and set a folder in Tony's hand. The man said, "I suggest that you review these documents immediately."

"What's this?" Tony asked as he sat up. He opened the packet and stared at the legalese. He said, "The board wants to---they can't do that!"

"Yes, they can, Mr. Stark," the man said. He pointed at the papers. He continued, "The investigation into your involvement with the mishandling of Stark weapons is still ongoing. But even if you are cleared of those charges, your ignorance of Stark Industries activities over the last 15 years demonstrates clear ineptitude. There is also breach of contract to consider, with Stark Industries bearing substantial penalties. In the best interests of your employees and your company, you're being asked to step down and allow the board to appoint your successor. The transition away from weapons-making will be done under the guidance of someone who has already proven they can be trusted with that responsibility."

Pepper frowned and looked over Tony's shoulder. She said, "They have a point. There are years of audits with your signature on them. If you didn't really follow the regulations..."

"But I own the company," Tony said stubbornly. "I AM the company."

"Not for much longer, Mr. Stark, if you refuse to comply," the man said with a shrug.


	5. Because immediately attacking a potential ally is always such a good idea (The Avengers)

When Thor takes Loki from the quinjet in The Avengers, Tony flies off without bothering to wait for his new teammates or a coordinated plan. He attacks Thor, then disrespects him by mocking his appearance. Of course, the battle is on. It's up to Steve to end the fight and actually ask Thor what's going on and encourage him to cooperate. So what if Steve wasn't able to catch up in time?

 

After being slammed once more to the ground, Tony could admit that maybe this wasn't such a great idea. The big guy with the cape could really pack a punch.

Suddenly Tony felt a weight on his chest. And then he couldn't get up. Tony stared in shock at the hammer resting on his chest. He struggled and shifted, but he couldn't move.

The blond man looked down at him with a nod. The man said, "You are not worthy. I cannot say I am surprised."

Then the guy turned and ran up the hillside to where Loki sat observing the battle.

"Hey! Hey, don't leave me here," Tony shouted. He tried to repulsor the hammer, laser it, fire a mini-missile at it. Nothing worked.

The guy walked back, holding Loki in a firm grip. The guy said, "Do not attack me again. You will regret it."

In a surprisingly complex move, the man lifted his hammer, kicked Tony away, twirled his hammer, and launched into the sky.

By the time Tony sat up the two were a speck in the distance.

Rogers jogged up, also watching Loki's departure with the blond guy. Rogers said, "That was Thor. Brother of Loki. God of Thunder. Prince of Asgard. Defender of Earth."

He continued, "Sounds like someone...useful to have on our side." 

Rogers tugged off his helmet and said, "Too bad your only plan was to attack."

Rogers' expression of disapproval made Tony cringe. Hopefully they'd be able to catch up with Thor and Loki soon.


	6. So it would kill you to tell someone what's going on? (Iron Man 2)

In Iron Man 2, Tony goes to great lengths to hide the fact that he's dying of palladium poisoning. He doesn't want ANYONE to know what's going on. In the film, NIck Fury and Natasha Romanoff step in with a solution that temporarily pushes back the symptoms, and Phil Coulson gives Tony access to Howard's Shield research, which leads Tony to Howard's discovery of a new element that saves Tony's life. So what if Tony got his way and NOBODY knew he needed help?

 

Tony died in his lab, slumped over a stack of arc reactors. Silvery lines covered all of his exposed skin.

Pepper swallowed several times and reached out to close Tony's eyes. Their lifeless stare made her shiver.

Phil Coulson put his arm around Pepper. She was so grateful he'd shown up just as she discovered Tony's...corpse.

She said, "I don't understand what happened. Did one of Tony's experiments go wrong?"

Phil shook his head and replied, "I'd guess that something went wrong with the arc reactor. Tech like that wasn't meant to be in a human body long term. Not with the materials it was made from."

Pepper wiped at her eyes and said, "Tony was acting a little strange, but he wouldn't tell Rhodey or me ANYTHING. We would have helped...at least, we would have tried."

Phil nodded and said, We---my boss and I---were starting to think something was up. But there wasn't enough to go on to let us know that Tony was in trouble."

He looked at Pepper and continued, "I'm so sorry."

Pepper nodded and turned away from the sight of Tony lying there, so still. She said, "I think we'll all partly blame ourselves."

Phil sighed and said, "That's true. But we also have to remember that this...this secrecy is what Tony wanted. He thought he could handle it completely by himself. Unfortunately, he was wrong."


	7. Sure, just kidnap the kid without even talking to his guardian (Civil War)

It's interesting that Tony Stark thought he could just kidnap Peter AGAIN, this time to live in upstate New York. And Tony thought it was okay to do that without consulting with May, disrespecting her place in Peter's life. Worse, Peter would have had to register to be an Avenger, so he would have to give up his secret identity. (The Accords, after all, are the REGISTRATION and Deployment of Enhanced Individuals. Even if you pretend Agents of Shield doesn't exist, Peter would still be subject to the Accords now that he would have been an Avenger.) The thing that surprises me is that Pepper went along with it. Did she know that Tony was recruiting an actual child? Or did Tony conveniently forget to tell Pepper the real situation, the way he forgot to mention to Peter what was actually going on in Civil War? What if Peter took Tony up on his offer?

 

Tony frowned when Peter flinched at all the flashbulbs going off. Tony reached the podium and said, "We're here today to announce the newest Avenger! Let's everybody say Hi to the Amazing Spider-Man!"

Peter weakly waved as everyone started talking at once.

Tony gestured for everyone to return to their seats. As people sat, one man remained standing. He held a clipboard of papers and a book in his hands.

As the man approached, Tony could see the wording on the all-too-familiar cover. Tony said, "Hold it right there."

The man stopped and pulled out an ID. He said, "I'm here in an official capacity from the U.N., to oversee the registration of the new Avenger."

The man resumed his walk until he was at the podium, looking at Spider-Man.

Tony could see the eyes in Peter's mask widen as the kid stumbled back. Peter said, "What? That wasn't---Mr. Stark didn't say anything about---"

"All members of the Avengers must register," the man said. He took out his pen and said, "I'll need your full name for the forms."

"I'm not...I can't...Mr. Stark!" Peter said as he turned to Tony.

Tony glanced at the sea of reporters, then said, "Well, uh, there's a little problem with signing that."

The man simply waited, along with every other person in the room.

Tony shifted and said, "He, uh, that is, Spider-Man is not exactly a man. I mean, he's male, but not quite..."

He ran his words together as he continued, "He'snotexactlyoldenoughtosignanything, OK?"

Tony saw movement out of the corner of his eye. Pepper's jaw had dropped and her eyes were as wide as Peter's.

Pepper asked, "What are you saying, Tony?" She walked up to Peter and laid a hand on his sleeve. She said, "Tony's been calling you a kid. I didn't think...you're LITERALLY a child?"

Peter shifted and said, "Well, I'm in high school---"

"TONY!" Pepper shouted. She whirled and came at him, saying, "How could you even THINK of involving a CHILD with the Avengers? How could you---How could you let me---OH MY GOD! You made me an accessory!"

Pepper grabbed Peter's arm and dragged him from the room. She said, "Friday, erase all video of Spider-Man and lock everyone in here with no outside contact until I arrange to have THIS CHILD returned to his parents."

Pepper glared at Tony and said, "Lock down EVERYONE---Including Tony."

As Friday acknowledged the order, Tony realized that this time he may be too deep in the hole to ever climb out.


	8. So would Ultron be Skynet or that computer from WarGames? (Age of Ultron)

Based on Tony's track record, having Tony in charge of an automated global defense system is a disaster waiting to happen. Even if the Mind Stone WASN'T involved. Some folks have said that Ultron is Tony's version of Project Insight, something that was inherently a bad idea that got pushed through because of people's paranoia. As Wanda pointed out, Ultron (which is based on Tony's AI) couldn't tell the difference between saving the world and destroying it. I think part of that is because while Jarvis/Vision had Edwin Jarvis for a template, Ultron had Tony. So Tony's flaws became magnified. What if Tony had managed to create Ultron on his own and successfully deploy it?

 

"I didn't mean for this to happen," Tony said as he watched Thor and the Hulk lift an enormous piece of rubble. Rogers and Romanoff ran into the gap to pull out the survivors...and the corpses.

Rhodey flipped up his faceplate and looked over with a sigh. He said, "I know you didn't, Tony. But you should've run this by somebody before you brought it online. We could've---I could've told you that privatizing world defense wasn't going to be any more successful than privatizing world peace."

Tony flipped up his own faceplace and looked at his old friend. He said, "Ultron was supposed to be our ace in the hole when the next alien army came. Locked, loaded, and ready to take out the invaders."

Rhodey replied, "That's what you meant for it to do. But Tony, you let that thing loose with a blanket 'save the world' order. Most of what puts the world in danger is right here on the planet."

Rhodey frowned as he took in the destruction around him and continued, "Including the people who weren't feeling the whole 'one world under Tony Stark' vibe."

Those people had sent a strong---and deadly---message in the form of missiles. That Ultron had automatically responded to the attack with even more devastating firepower had left the world teetering on the brink of global annihilation. Diplomacy barely saved the day. They were fortunate that the body count wasn't higher.

"At least it was all conventional weapons," Tony said. He shuddered as he imagined the destruction if one of the combatants had actually launched their nuclear weapons.

Rhodey nodded and said, "Yeah, it could have been a whole lot worse."


	9. Because you weren't trying to pull a fast one, were you, Tony? (Civil War)

RDJ and the deleted scenes confirm that Tony was lying during the pen scene. He couldn't amend the Accords (does anyone really think he has sway over 117 countries?) and he couldn't prevent Bucky from being extradited to Wakanda. What if Steve trusted Tony and then found out the truth? Note that in this scenario, Zemo never gets access to Bucky.

 

"Well, that was interesting," Natasha said as she settled onto a stool.

Tony shook his head and said, "I can't believe it fell apart so quickly."

Natasha lifted a brow and said, "What were you expecting? You told Steve that Barnes would be sent to the U.S., then he finds out T'Challa already had permission to haul him to Wakanda."

Tony frowned and said, "I thought Cap's speech was a little harsh."

Natasha snorted and said, "Steve's known for those little world-shredding pep talks. That he found a media outlet to report all of the human and civil right violations we were racking up doesn't really surprise me."

Tony shifted to look at Natasha more closely. He said, "A little warning would have been nice."

Natasha shrugged and replied, "I would have thought 'Don't intern our teammate or use Barnes to blackmail Steve into signing the Accords' would have been obvious. Of course, I couldn't warn you because you didn't bother to tell me what you were doing."

Tony slumped down into his chair and asked, "Do you think they'll come back?"

"Not really," Natasha replied. She continued, "Sam went with Steve to Wakanda to protect Barnes during the investigation and trial. Clint freed Wanda and is helping her start a new life somewhere else. With Vision going with them..."

Tony said, "You, Rhodey, and me will be the only Avengers left."

Natasha stood and said, "You and Rhodey, actually."

She gave Tony a long look and said, "It's pretty clear that the Avengers aren't going to be able to influence the Accords at all. So I think I'm going to take T'Challa up on his invitation to visit Wakanda."


	10. Because letting the villain be villainous is a much better plan (The Avengers)

Tony is pretty dismissive of Coulson in The Avengers, saying he should have waited. Let's see what might have happened if Tony got his way and Loki wasn't delayed those few minutes before dumping Thor AND there was nothing to bring the Avengers together.

 

Coulson stood before Fury and said, "I'm sorry, Sir. Loki escaped while I was waiting for backup."

He paused, then continued, "Stark is already gone. Romanoff and Rogers are with Barton."

Fury eyed the agent, then turned away and looked to Maria Hill. He asked, "Any word on Banner or Thor?"

Maria looked up from her screen and replied, "It looks like the capsule landed over some pretty deep water. I've dispatched fighters, but I don't know when divers or rescue craft will get there. Banner's location is unknown."

She couldn't know that Thor was floating face down in the water, Mjolnir lost at the bottom of the lake. Or that Banner would land somewhere else, without transportation or someone to give him a pair of pants nearby.

Instead of deciding to work with his fellow heroes, Tony decided he could go it alone like always. His battered suit and broken body were never found in the rubble, because the World Security Council nuked New York.

But Phil made it out okay. He spent the rest of his life wondering if things would have been different.


	11. Arranging a mano-a-mano with a supervillain doesn't sound like the brightest idea (Iron Man 3)

We know that Tony's calling out the Mandarin failed spectacularly, with Pepper's life at risk as well as Tony's own. But what if the Mandarin/Killian had taken up Tony's challenge to go one-on-one? Ironically, Tony probably was thinking of making it puny human vs. Iron Man. But Killian wouldn't blindly walk into a trap, would he?

 

Tony strode from the car into the house. He walked over to the bar and poured himself a drink, wondering how the Mandarin would react to his challenge.

He figured he had 20 minutes or so before Pepper arrived to yell at him for his recklessness.

Tony shifted the bracelets on his wrists, secure in the knowledge that his suits were a thought away. He said to himself, "Come and get me, you bastard."

"I'm already here," a voice said behind him. Tony whirled and saw the handsome man who'd visited Pepper---Aldrich Killian. Tony frowned and asked, "How did you get in here?"

Killian smiled and said, "You'd be surprised how resourceful I can be." He smoothed his white suit and stepped into the center of the room. Then he asked, "Shall we get started?"

Tony stepped forward and said, "Wait---YOU'RE the Mandarin? The Mandarin is some surfer boy gone bad?"

Killian nodded and said, "Of course. Now, you called me a coward and a dead man. By coming here I've already proved you wrong in your first declaration. How about we see how wrong you are about the second?"

Tony laughed and said, "Oh, you made this too easy." He summoned a suit with the flick of his wrists.

Nothing happened.

Tony paled and swallowed. He backed away as he called, "Jarvis! Need a suit right now."

Killian shook his head and said, "I don't think so. Did you think I would let you hide behind your toys? This is just you and me. I'm not even going to use MY weapon of mass destruction, as tempting as it would be to burn you to a crisp."

Tony clenched his jaw and said, "Bring it."

The two traded punches as they roamed around the room, smashing into furniture and breaking glass.

Tony wasn't a slouch in the physical fitness department. He trained outside of the suit. 

But he also spent almost 20 years partying it up. After a few minutes it was clear that Killian had the advantage in speed and power behind his blows. He also seemed to know just what Tony was going to do. He blocked Tony's shots almost before Tony made them.

Killian said, "I studied you, Tony. Set a goal of being better than you. Nice to see all that hard work paying off."

Tony grunted as he was flung to floor again. Then he gasped as he felt a shard from the broken glass coffee table pierce his back. He screamed when it dug deep into his insides, slicing as it went almost completely through him.

Killian stood and watched Tony as Tony bled out on his mansion floor. Killian said, "I've wanted to punish you for so long. And it's satisfying, but really not as...important as I expected. Especially when I have so many other goals to achieve."

He smiled and continued, "But I can spare a few more moments to watch you die."

As Tony gulped his last breaths, he could only be grateful that Pepper wasn't here to see this. But he could imagine her screaming, "I could have told you this was a bad idea!"


	12. Do you regret this innocent blood on your hands?

When I first saw Civil War and saw Bucky staring into the camera at the end of the Siberia fight, I thought he was dead. It's chilling how many prop-Tony folks thought Tony was perfectly justified in murdering Bucky. It says a lot about them and how they pretend their fave's hurt feelings are more important than an innocent man's life. What if Tony got his way and succeeded in his revenge murder?

 

Silence filled the bunker as Cap struggled to his feet and turned away.

Tony moved to sit up, still furious.

Cap whispered, "Bucky."

Tony turned to look when he heard the clang of the shield hitting the floor of the bunker. He saw Cap on one knee with his helmet off. Cap had fingers pressed to Barnes's throat as he pressed his ear to Barnes's chest.

Cap's face scrunched up as he sat up and whispered again, "Bucky." He bowed his head as he covered his face with his hand. Quiet sobs echoed in the room.

Horror filled Tony as he realized that Barnes wasn't blinking or breathing. Barnes was still staring up, but Tony felt like those dead eyes were pinned on him.

Tony said, "I didn't...I didn't..." But he couldn't finish the sentence. He couldn't say "I didn't mean to" because he obviously intended to murder Barnes. He couldn't say "I didn't think this would happen" because obviously when you try to shoot missiles and lasers in someone's face and attack them with a flying tank, bad things are going to happen.

Fear filled Tony as he wondered if Cap would kill Tony now. If Tony thought it was OK to kill someone for a murder committed by a brainwashed POW 25 years ago, then he couldn't really complain about Cap taking revenge for a murder committed by someone who CHOSE to murder Cap's friend right in front of him. Tony felt like he was going to vomit as he waited.

He swallowed as he watched Cap gather Barnes's body up and stand. Cap didn't close Barnes's eyes. Tony felt like Barnes's dead eyes were still watching him. Tony reached out and grabbed Cap's arm as he walked by.

Tony said, "You have to believe me. I didn't...you KNOW why I had to. You know what HE did. I was just...I...Cap..."

Cap didn't answer Tony or even look at him. He just stood there until Tony let go. Then Cap walked out.

The bunker was very quiet as Tony sat alone with Cap's shield, Barnes's arm, and the blood on Tony's hands that he knew he'd never be able to wash away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wraps up our look at some of Tony's poor life choices. Thanks to everyone who read and commented!
> 
> Remember to keep putting Team Cap fic recs in the comments!

**Author's Note:**

> Rec list updated Feb. 13, 2019!
> 
> Visit the [Pro Team Cap Rec List](https://gibbs-yeah.dreamwidth.org/) for a list of fics that DON'T bash Team Cap!
> 
> If you know of a fic you'd like to see on the rec list, mention it in a comment on this fic and I'll add it.


End file.
